here I am again

So here I am again...

willing to be opened up and broken like a flower in the rain

Tell me what have I to do to die and then be raised?

To reach beyond the pain

like a flower in the rain

-jaci velasquez

The feast of passover had begun. Jesus knew that His time had come. He was leaving. He was going to His father. He had loved His own who were in the world unto the end. But He also knew that one would betray Him.

And knowing that His Father had given all things into His hands, that He had come from Him, and was going to Him, Jesus rose from supper and laid aside His garments. He took a towel and girded Himself, poured water in a bason, and began to wash His disciples feet...(1)

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Jesus never ceased to do the absolutely unexpected.

Why would He wash feet? In a few hours He would be hanging on a cross, bearing these men's sin. At the same time, they would be running for their lives, denying His very name, and leaving Him alone. He knew this would happen. Why then did He do this?

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Sometimes I want to do great things. To rescue the lost. To wrestle in prayer 'till victory comes. To abound with fruit for my Father's pleasure. To see the enemy conquered, and God's people rise up strong. To have a place in the kingdom come.

But then, in gentle voice, He whispers, "Do this little thing. The one that is right before you. Wash these feet. Lay aside your own gain, and get down on you knees. Take up you towel, and follow Me. Wrestle in prayer for this person, who will never know you did so. He who is faithful in that which is least is faithful in much. "

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have you taken up your towel today?

(1) John 13:1-5

Ladies Against Feminism

This is another wonderful website for ladies!

It was just recently re-launched and has many new authors sharing

inspiring and challenging thoughts.

Check it out!

A Wise Woman

I would like to mention a little something about the blog that I recently added to my list of "sites I visit". It is called A Wise Woman Builds Her Home. What a blessing it has been to me to read bits and pieces of this site! It is full of practical, inspiring posts on Biblical Womanhood, Femininity, Rich Christian Living, and much more. Though primarily directed to mothers, it has set me thinking and preparing my heart for whatever God has for me in the future, echoed the words of Scripture that I have been pondering lately, and further established me in truths that were swimming in my mind. It has given me ideas to ponder, truths to wrestle with, and kindled a vision in me for true womanhood and Christ-centered family life. Some of the posts which I have especially liked are: Top Ten Things Ungodly Cultures Hate That the Bible Tells Men, Would You Love Her?, The Controlled Mother (helpful thoughts for my baby-sitting), The Broad and Narrow, She Beautifies His Life, and Pioneering Biblical Femininity in a Post Christian Culture.

If you get a chance, I would encourage you to visit this beautiful site for some worthwhile reading.

Something Wonderful

"After years of society belittling the calling of motherhood, something wonderful is happening--something wonderfully counter-cultural! In the midst of the anti-life, anti-motherhood philosophies which pervade the culture, there is a new generation of young ladies whose priorities are not determined by the worlds expectations of them. They have grown up in homes where fathers shepherded them, where children are not merely welcome, but where they are deeply loved. Some of these women have been home educated, which means that many of them have grown up around babies and their mothers. They have learned to see motherhood as a joy and a high calling because their parents see it that way.When asked about their future, these girls know their own minds. These are the future mothers of the Church: Young women who are not afraid to say that the goal of all of their education and training is to equip them to pursue the highest calling of womanhood--the office of wife and mother."

--Doug Phillips, The Little Boy Down the Road

Advice on Reading

by Richard Baxter (1615-1691)


"Make careful choice of the books which you read: let the holy scriptures ever have the pre-eminence, and, next to them, those solid, lively, heavenly treatises which best expound and apply the scriptures, and next, credible histories, especially of the Church . . . but take heed of false teachers who would corrupt your understandings."

1. As there is a more excellent appearance of the Spirit of God in the holy scripture, than in any other book whatever, so it has more power and fitness to convey the Spirit, and make us spiritual, by imprinting itself upon our hearts. As there is more of God in it, so it will acquaint us more with God, and bring us nearer Him, and make the reader more reverent, serious and divine. Let scripture be first and most in your hearts and hands and other books be used as subservient to it. The endeavours of the devil and papists to keep it from you, doth shew that it is most necessary and desirable to you.

2. The writings of divines are nothing else but a preaching of the gospel to the eye, as the voice preaches it to the ear. Vocal preaching has the pre-eminence in moving the affections, and being diversified according to the state of the congregation which attend it: this way the milk comes warmest from the breast. But books have the advantage in many other respects: you may read an able preacher when you have but a average one to hear. Every congregation cannot hear the most judicious or powerful preachers: but every single person may read the books of the most powerful and judicious; preachers may be silenced or banished, when books may be at hand: books may be kept at a smaller charge than preachers: we may choose books which treat of that, very subject which we desire to hear of; but we cannot choose what subject the preacher shall treat of. Books we may have at hand every day. and hour; when we can have sermons but seldom, and at set times. If sermons be forgotten, they are gone; but a book we may read over and over, till we remember it: and if we forget it, may again peruse it at our pleasure, or at our leisure. So that good books are a very great mercy to the world: the Holy Ghost chose the way of writing, to preserve His doctrine and laws to the 'Church, as knowing how easy and sure a way it is of keeping it safe to all generations, in comparison of mere verbal traditions.

3. You have need of a judicious teacher at hand, to direct you what books to use or to refuse: for among good books there are some very good that are sound and lively; and some good, but mediocre, and weak and somewhat dull; and some are very good in part, but have mixtures of error, or else of incautious, injudicious expressions, fitter to puzzle than edify the weak."

While reading ask oneself:
1. Could I spend this time no better?
2. Are there better books that would edify me more?
3. Are the lovers of such a book as this the greatest lovers of the Book of God and of a holy life?
4. Does this book increase my love to the Word of God, kill my sin, and prepare me for the life to come?

Good Morning, Sunshine!

The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth His handiwork. Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night sheweth. There is no speech nor language, where their voice is not heard. Their line is gone out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world. In them He hath set a tabernacle for the sun, which is as a bridegroom coming out of his chamber, and rejoiceth as a strong man to run a race...

Psalm 19:1-5

Pondering Worship #2

(Disclaimer: I do not mean this to be at all judgemental. It is merely a glimpse into some things that I have been thinking about lately. I'm on a wild search to find out what worship really is, what it looks like, and what it should be. )

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On a wide stage, she stood singing. She was helping lead worship in a little church for the youth group. About halfway through the third song, she looked out at the young people. Some were slouched in the pew with their feet on the pew in front of them. Many looked down at something in their laps, fiddling with their cell phones. Even the ones who should have known better sat whispering to each other, giggling and fidgeting. Faces stared glumly downward. Many of the lips showed no sign of movement. Only a handful looked like they were taking part.

Suddenly she didn't feel like singing. She wanted to cry, to yell, to do something.

And yet all she could do was sing louder, clearer, bolder. Maybe they would hear. Maybe they would hear what He is like, this King named Jesus. Maybe all these words about His love, about knowing Him and finding life and joy in Him would not go in one ear and out the other; maybe they would be heard. Even believed.

She couldn't help but wonder what these young people lived like in their private lives. Did they ever worship when they were alone? Wouldn't that affect the way in which they worshipped in public? They did not even look like they were trying to appear to be taking part. Did they even know what it is like to worship God? Did they know that this is what they were created for? If only it were possible to show them! But she could not. Oh, why was she even here?

And then she remembered. She remembered her own cold, hard, heart. Her own stiff, lazy spirit, so long unresponsive to her Lord's gentle bidding. Her slouching, fiddling, glum self grieving the Lord who bought her with His blood. She remembered what HE HAD DONE, how all her life He had pursued her, wooed her, yearned to be with her, and done everything He could to draw her. He had ever been the perfect gentleman, never forcing, but always ever tenderly calling, "Come unto Me". He had washed her and cleansed her, filled her and refreshed her. He had looked on her with love and said, "Live", and given her the amazing gift of His Spirit. He was constantly whispering, "You are Mine", "I have called you", "I have chosen you", "I will never leave you", "I will be with you ALWAYS". When she was faithless, He was ALWAYS FAITHFUL. When she doubted and questioned, He just whispered, "Trust Me...Love Me...Worship Me". He had showered her with inconceivable blessings.

How could she now think Him unable to change them also? Look what He had done in her! He was more than able to breath His life into dead bones if He wanted to. Of course He could change anyone! And He will. He has. He does.

We were created to worship.

You have been chosen to proclaim His excellencies. May God enable you to do so with every breath that you breathe. He is worthy.

YES

"For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us."

-2 Cor. 1:20

What are these feelings these tears, these disabling fears. This appearance of pain unseen. What are these questions, these doubts, that I can't figure out. Confusion as to what this is all about.
What is this burden, this weight, that I underestimate? I will wait for Your answer, whatever it may be.
Whatever it may be, a Yes, No, or a Maybe, it's OK with me; all is Yes with You. Whatever You say to me will surely set me free despite my wanderings, for all is Yes with You. All is Yes with You.
You hold these feelings these tears, these disabling fears, this appearance of pain unseen. You are the silence to these doubts that I can't figure out, as You show me what this is all about. You bear this burden, this weight, that I underestimate. I will wait for Your answer, whatever it may be
Whatever it may be, a Yes, No, or a Maybe, it's OK with me; all is Yes with YOU. Whatever You say to me will surely set me free despite my wanderings, for all is Yes with YOU. All is Yes with YOU.

-Whatever It May Be by Lindsey Kane
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Today I laid out my fleece. Have you ever done that? It's scary. Whatever it may be, it will be BEST. All is YES in Jesus Christ.
Preparing for rain...

Pondering Worship #1

In a little home, a girl sat with several elderly faces looking at her. She tried to sing, but with each breath her throat continued to constrict and give out. Sure, it was just because she had been sick and her lungs were not quite back to normal, but would she have to leave after just beginning their songs? The battle began. It may seem odd, but this girl believes that spiritual battles are fought even over the most commonplace circumstances. Even over a throat tickle.

As she continued trying to breath evenly and keep singing normally, she reflected on why she was even in this little home. Why did she even take a portion of her day to worship God in front of these people? Because the King of kings is worthy of all praise, worthy of being proclaimed to all people. She thought about these people looking at her. Did they know what it is like to worship God? Did they know that this is what they were created for? If only it were possible to show them! But she could not. As she fought just to keep singing, she realized her own weakness. Every breath is given from Him. Even singing is impossible without His allowing it, without Him giving the strength. This makes us quite dependent, doesn't it? Completely dependent. And yet, as we seek to proclaim His great name, how often do we rely on our own (seeming) strength? In our pride we forget just how dependant we are.

This girl learned quite the lesson as she began to cry out to God that He might sing through her, that He would be her "strength and song". Satan would have stolen her voice and made her leave right then and there. But he can't win. Not when one is calling on Jesus Christ. God is so gracious, and as the people sat listening, she saw their faces turn from uncertainty and distraction into smiles of understanding. What an amazing God we serve! He inhabits the praises of His people, showing Himself strong through their weaknesses. We cannot make Him known to them, but we sure can rely on Him to come and show Himself. And He will. He has. He does.



Worship is a clue to meaning in life.



You have been chosen to proclaim His excellencies. Never forget that He gives you the very strength to do so. Today, as you praise our King, remember to sing clearly, boldly, joyfully, and sincerely. He is worthy.